Friday, 5 May 2017

Reasons To Giggle - Sexy And Funny Pictures

In this article I deviate a little away from my usual funny theme to a sexy-funny theme. I have a theory that an article crammed full of sexy ladies will attract more views than my usual funny-only articles. Non of it is pornographic, just sexy and funny. 


Sexy Scientist woman looking at you
Why are scientists still working on cloning? Sex is still the best way of creating people. 

sexy scientist bending over in a lab

 
sexy scientist in a lab
Below is a woman who can afford sexy trousers, but cannot afford a shoe rack.


Pretty woman with shiny trousers
Don’t be jealous of the lanky streak of piss guy in the picture below.


sexy girl and her ugly boyfriend
After all, this image is more than 3 months old, which means either he is still with her and she is fat, or she dumped him for a guy with more money and a bigger nob. 

a cute girl with black hair
The easiest way to tell if a woman is a natural ginger is to look at her hair. If she has died it black, then she is a natural ginger.

one on left learning to whistle
Obviously, the photo was taken while the girl on the left was taking her whistling lesson. 

Roasting a young blonde girl 
Why does she want roasting, doesn’t she get enough spit roasting from the lads at the army barracks she visits every night?

Sexy brown haired girl 
The crease in her shirt (top left of her shirt) makes it look like she has three nipples. It doesn’t seem that way now, but look again, she seems to have three nipples. 

woke up next to her, told her i had a castle  
Woke up next to a beautiful girl smiling at me. Suddenly remembered that I told her my family owned a castle.
 
Why men design sexy boots  
The woman above is the reason why men invent sexy boots. 

sexy young woman with sexy cleavage  
Young men see a sexy young woman. Fat men see an upside down McDonald’s M.

two sexy ladies posing  
She clearly had the sense to put on clothes, but not enough sense to hold a camera straight. Either that, or she is on a boat and took the picture while cresting over a big wave. 
Young woman posing in a schoolgirl outfit with a circle covering her vagina
How dare that beautiful woman play with herself in a college classroom!!
Young woman posing in a schoolgirl outfit without a circle covering her vagina
 Aaahh, what a difference a small circle makes. That there is an example of how to make something innocent appear more dirty than it is. 


sexy young woman in a bikini
I really want to know her, talk to her, and hear what she has to say. To explore her soul and have her tell me all her hopes and dreams. I just hope she quits blabbling long enough for me to shag her.



Party girl farts
As one butt cheek said to another, “Together we can stop this shit!”



Sexy girl on her hands and knees
This girl is such a slut that her knees have never met. She is so hot with a dash of sexy that you could forgive her anything. Even if she drove your car over your prize winning lettuce. 


A woman in a bikini with fake tan on
She is the best advert I have ever seen for fake tan. 



Sexy chav woman
Its not that I am jealous that some other guy gets to have her, it just pisses me off that whoever he is…he is a skater boy.



woman posing with a beautiful body
She is beautiful and probably has one of the curvaceous and sexy bodies on the Internet, yet she is not popular enough to have somebody else take her photo for her. 



Cute young woman poses in sexy outfit
I love it when cute-but-not-hot women pose in sexy outfits (I‘m not kidding on this one). Hot pictures don’t always have to contain drop-dead sexy women. You go girl.



A young woman with round boobs
As one hooker said to the other, “Lend me a few bucks until I am on my back again.” 



sexy chavs in pink uniforms
Girl on the left says, “Have you ever tried 69?”
Girl on the right says, “Ten is the most I can sleep with in one night”



a beautiful blonde woman with her top off
The woman in the picture above is probably the best looking deaf woman you have ever seen. She told me she was born deaf. She also told me that her cat vibrates when it is happy. 



Stunning Woman
Life is like toilet paper. Either you are on a roll, or you are taking shit from somebody. 



told her to search for my cufflink
Ashlynn Brooke pictured above is actually a porn star. I went into a hotel and proudly said, “I was told this a respectable hotel, is the pornography channel disabled?” To which the hotel clerk replied, “Channel 366 features wheelchair porn if you are interested.” 



blonde woman with no bra 
The woman above is a very poor quality archeologist. For example, I once found her tampon in the trash, and she couldn’t even tell me what period it came from. 

A sexy redhead woman
I love sexy redheads. They take so much crap going through school with people calling them names, but they are soooo hot. What is red and bad for your teeth? A house brick. 



Sexy black and white image of a woman with her mouth open
If you are old enough to have had….a mouth hug, then the picture above will send you nuts. If you have only ever had a mouth hug from an alligator, then the picture above may not have the same effect. 



Topless blonde in a school uniform
She was angry when she woke up to find I had drawn a penis on her face. She was furious when she discovered I traced it.





Thursday, 23 March 2017

19 Funny Domain (Website) Names And Jokes

Here are a bunch of funny and unfortunate domain names that people have named their websites without realizing their names may be misinterpreted as something else when the words are smushed together in the web browser address bar. I also threw in a few joke to sweeten the deal. Enjoy   :)

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I love my budget cock. I also have savings belly button and a financial anus.

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I have never met a woman known as Anal Emma, but I have met Miss Ader Titsoff, Miss Ima Goodlay and Bea Chermeat. 

The woman in the picture above should have been number two.

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I have no idea why the Cumbria Storage company would call their website Cum Store. I tell people I am a great boxer…in the box storage warehouse. 

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I love crap jokes here is one for you. A man with dual personalities walks into a bar. The barman says "I'm not serving you two!"

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Kids sex change? Some kids will do anything to avoid playing Football.

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Founded by the Michael Jackson fan club. 
(Its a joke, I know MJ didn't really do it).


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The real name is LA Drape. I honestly cannot think of a joke about lad rape. Where is a catholic priest when you need one?


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So we under 40 are not good for the North Of Boston Jewish Singles? I have a full pension fund, I should be considered.

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Old Man Shaven! What ever would Santa Claus say? Muslims don't like people without beards, which is probably why they don't like women...though they would love my nan. She has a chin beard that rivals Rolf Harris. Do Muslims prefer bearded collies?

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An Island full of penises? It's been a while since I have watched Will and Grace, but isn't that island called Fire Island?
(Okay, I have to level with you here. Even I don't fully get that reference, but they seemed to laugh when Will said it on Will and Grace).

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It is meant to say PowerGen Italia, not Power Genitalia. My ex said I had powerful genitalia. She also said I was hung like a horse...a seahorse.


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Don't underestimate the speed of fart. It can fill a room in no time.

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Your such a Swiss Bitch.
I think most would take it as a compliment. 


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I think my teacher was a stalker. I used to see her follow our Phys-Ed teacher to his caravan before going home with her shirt on backwards. I used to think to myself, as I was crouched in the bushes outside her home, she must be stalking him.


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I need a therapist in a box just to get over the fact that my sister is my mother and my farther is my brother. On the plus side, my therapist says I am a good kisser.

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If you are ever stuck for ideas for presents for your whore, now you know where to look.


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  Is the Winter Sex Press up at the North Pole? I bet Mrs. Claus loves every minute of it.

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MP3shits? Is it full of Justin Beiber songs?

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Lesobo Cages? Sounds like the name of a porno movie. I love how movie names are so easily changed to pornoo movie names, like "The Sperminator", "Spongebob Hotpants," and "Saving Ryan's Privates." It doesn't work for all movies--like Three Men and a Baby.



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