Friday, 12 June 2015

Movie Jokes And TV Giggles

Welcome to Fight Club. How did you hear about us?

The Pirates of the Caribbean movies should have been rated Arrrrrrgh
Though to be honest I rated the last one “Yawn.”

My nan is so old that she cries during Jurassic Park.
She says it brings back memories of her childhood.

I've found the only sex scene in Jurassic Park Lost World.
 
This is not a joke. For the last time, I am telling you, Lord Of The Rings cannot be racist because the LOTR universe has its own races completely separate to anything we have in our world.

Did the producers of Harry Potter bring out a 3D version just so they could have an audience full of people with glasses on?

Was Edward Scissorhands allowed to run as a child?


Upton Girl, she was living in an Upton world.


Even if Kate Upton put on loads of weight, she would still put the Ass in mASSive.  

 I have been waiting for years for the movie “Constipation” to come out.
It sure is taking a long time.

The Skyfall film's theme was sung by Adele.
In this case the movie starts when the fat lady sings.


Dating Tip - Take her for meals at a restaurant for 8 dates and for the 9th date watch Batman with her. That way it goes dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner Batman.

Thanks for nothing Lord Of The Rings!!!
I spent two hours at a midget wedding the other day, and the little bugger didn’t dissapear when he put on the ring.

Saw - The uncut version
What? Was it blunt? I’m not watching that!!!


My girlfriend works at a theatre and is terrible in the cinema.
She can’t leave without making a scene.
 
I've just seen Colin Firth in “The King's Speech.”
Why did they give him an academy award? He could hardly remember his lines.

This is my favorite line in the Simpsons, for the episode Specs and the City.


 I hate when people speak on the phone in the cinema.
It always puts me off my singing.

People complain about gaming lag with online gaming.
How do you think the people in the Matrix felt.

In Thor 1 they fight ice people.
The name of the movie was quite apt if you ask me.

My girlfriend looked through my DVDs and asked me what Fight Club was all about. I couldn’t tell her.

 

 Are orphans allowed to watch PG movies

Alien vs. Predator was a great idea.
I can’t wait for Blade vs. Twilight

What about Willy Wonka vs. Saw, where Willy puts razor blades in five of his chocolate bars.

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